Thai Ladies and Girlfriends

It's well known that for many foreign men, Thai ladies are their favorite mammals with mammaries in the entire Milky Way Galaxy! Mixed race relationships -- wives, girlfriends, and special lady acquaintances -- are common among men in Thailand. Just keep in mind that between Caucasians and Asians, the two races are not only around 50,000 years separated in DNA, but far more importantly there are significant differences in culture, too. The differences in cultures and languages can lead to many difficulties and misunderstandings.

This section covers the range of Thai girls, from mainstream Thai ladies to bargirls and other prostitutes, in an attempt to help all kinds of people.

Notably, while I myself have mostly lived and mostly hung out in mainstream outer suburbs of Bangkok (except the first 5 months I was here), rather than the tourist and expat entertainment centers, I know both realms quite well, and I nonetheless do not judge bargirls or that line of professional services as "bad" in general, nor do I believe that what's right for myself is "right" for all guys, tourist or expat. Like most Thai people, I don't judge either the Thai ladies who take up that occupation or the expats/tourists who choose to develop relationships in those circles. There are advantages and disadvantages to different kinds of ladies, and it's a matter of your situation, lifestyle, preferences, and practical options.

In any case, it is important to see the differences between the foreigner-oriented subculture areas and mainstream Thai ladies. While I see differences in most ladies right away, that is based on broad and extensive experience. Most guys I go around with are obviously unattuned and oblivious to many elements, especially guys whose "formative experiences" with Thai ladies were in the "prostitution" zones, whether it be in bars, nightclubs, some of the ladies in internet dating, or disguised predatory rangers on the ground or in the internet. So-called "disguised prostitutes" are fairly common.

First, some quick links to pages on this site, but there's more text explaining things on this page more generally, starting under these links.

Old Thai slang: "Pig Story" (ruang mu-mu)
Meaning: Goal easily accomplished by a simple story-like process.
Example: Make easy money from foreign men by telling stories of money needs.

(Taken from a billboard: Buy & move into a new house, little money down.)

Overview of Thai women and girlfriends (GFs)

Mainstream Thai lady friends and girlfriends

Short time prostitutes

Longer time bargirl or freelancer GFs

Short time hotels


Moral issues

Good guys trying to help usually get burned

What makes a quality relationship

Getting a travel visa for her

Discreet private investigators

 Thailand Guru analysis

A lot depends on things beyond our control, and some things within our control, both foreign men and Thai ladies. For example: one's "born in" environment, options & alternatives, current age, genetic appearance, upbringing, lifestyle, preferences, values, interests, etc. -- and whether you want one longterm mate, or just casual acquaintances. Whichever serves you best. It's your free will, and everyone's different. Thailand is a relatively free, live-and-let-live, relatively nonjudgemental and understanding country. ("Sorry if my karma ran over your dogma.".)

As long as one is not harming others, and has only good intentions, then live and let live.

Of course, exceptions apply, such as bargirls scamming guys for money, guys leaving their very young children & wife to come live in a dream house with their bargirl who will eventually cheat on him or kick him out when his generosity of money wanes, and various other common behaviors and unfolding situations. It is amazing to see so many guys blinded by love/lust, tricked by instinct to follow happy emotions and lose reason, and just totally lose the plot in their lives, ipso nutso.

It is intended that this guide will help you to positively understanding Thai culture and its different "sectors", so that you can find the best match(es) for what is best for your life. It is important that you understand the differences between foreign culture and Thai subcultures as regards girlfriends and acquaintances.

On the one hand, there are mainstream Thai ladies who are mistreated as if they are bargirls and/or otherwise misunderstood, because so much of the literature on the internet about Thai girlfriends is written by foreign guys who have little or no real experience outside the prostitution realm, thereby leading other guys to ride roughshod over good Thai ladies.

On the other hand, the most common negative experiences of foreigners are due to their own unrealistic expectations of some "professional" prostitutes, whereby the foreign man finds a young, beautiful, and lovely (by Western standards) Thai lady and believes they can change and/or control them into becoming the dedicated girlfriend or trophy wife of their dreams. In my opinion, the "fault" is often the man's, not the lady's, by unrealistic expectations and overly selfish demands, though it varies from one failed relationship to another. In many cases, you could blame the lady for her outright trickery, or just her own set of values and interests, and/or laziness, but trying to substantially change somebody and having unrealistic expectations can be a fault of one's own.

Commonly, there is danger of outright scams to get the foreigner guy's money, whereby the lady is clearly the guilty one, of being grossly dishonest, deceitful, and tricky, such as agreeing to a monogamous relationship while behaving otherwise, and just after the guy's money, often careless of the havoc they wreak on the guy's life, children, wife, and business responsibilities.

Bad news travels much further than good news, and it's my observation that a lot of the negative internet traffic is out of proportion with the positive side of overall reality. Bad news travels further than good news, and can be more emotionally intense. Surely, most happy guys are not out on forums about bargirls, but I think it's also just the nature of the internet and news in general to be negative and sensational, keeping peoples interest and juices going, and attracting attention.

It is a fact that many ex-bargirls become faithful and good wives. I know of many. However, the majority I have observed have not, and trickery is common.

A mainstream Thai lady is usually monogamous by her very nature. However, a mainstream lady might not be a good match to you. You might want multiple girlfriends instead, enjoy some diversity and freedom, not care about the Thai family life, bored and restless with the Thai mindset while headstrong in your own ways and routines, etc. There are many other ladies who will happily try to cater to your preferences.

Nevertheless, the pitfalls of relationships with Thai ladies are not limited to bargirls, as "mainstream" Thai ladies vary as much as mainstream ladies do in your own country. Most mainstream Thai ladies are faithful, and money's usually not a big issue, but not always, and there are a lot of other things to consider in both friendship and physically intimate relationships.

This general discussion will continue below the following services which we suggest.

Thailand Private Investigators

For more than 20 years now, due to my experiences and knowledge since my arrival in 1994 from the Washington, D.C., region, I have been providing private investigation services, together with my Thai wife and our agents who are mostly extended family and longtime friends, including discreet surveillance and my advice and guidance.

If you have a Thai girlfriend who you are investing a lot of time, money, emotion and energy into, but you are experiencing some bad signs which lead you to believe she might be misleading you, unfaithful, or outright tricky, then we would suggest you hire a discreet private investigation service -- sooner rather than later. Such "insurance" can be well worth the peace of mind or else the cutting of your losses.

For discreet private investigative services, e.g., discreetly checking out a girlfriend's behavior when you are not present (other boyfriend(s)?), status check (does she really work, is she really a student, did she tell you the truth about...), finding a disappeared girlfriend, etc., contact Thailand Private Investigations at

I am the only foreigner, and most of our field agents are Thai lady agents of many different backgrounds, whereby I have trained them in professional methods, in order to be most discreet and effective, especially in surveillance, which foreign men often cannot do discreetly in many parts of Thai society. In both discreet surveillance and interactive tasks, a Thai lady matched to each task is often better than a man.

Also, of course, I chose agents who I can trust, and who are capable and diligent. My wife's was a senior manager in a very large organization when I met her, whereby she had a lot of experience with staff. (When she departed to work for me, some of her staff followed.) Her family has many educated and professional people with good values and ethics, very middle class.

Our investigations website includes some interesting case studies -- investigation experiences journaled there!

However, some cases require a foreign man -- such as entering a go-go bar and operations there, where a Thai lady cannot go (non-employees). Thailand P.I. uses the myself (Mark) such as in cases where the lady is unexpectedly followed from home to a go-go bar.

With us, you usually deal with me for the email and chat correspondence and to be your contact person / manager / analyst / advisor, but can also deal with one of the Thai lady agents who reads/writes/speaks good English. Thailand PI focuses on research (Thai language researchers), surveillance (discreet Thai teams), undercover work (mainly Thai lady agents), and various operations.

Particularly as regards bargirls, sending lots of money -- a Thai lady "investment without investigator" -- is risky business indeed.

"Romance scams" are a major business in Thailand. During COVID, when bars were closed, this seemed to really ramp up. Many are systematic with professional training. There are even Chinese gangs who have ramped this up, believe it or not.

I also knew the webmaster of an internet dating site, and once while he was doing routine administration in my presence showed me collections of photos of reported scammers and suspected scammers reported by users as well as his own observations. I was awed how rampant it is, a fulltime home based business in and of itself, almost akin to phishing. To him it was routine administration and maintenance, detecting and disabling scammers.

These scams hurt innocent Thai ladies "by association" (nationality). Most Thai ladies are sincere, but the image of Thai ladies is damaged by scammers like these. These scammers and ladies who treat men and often other people badly also irks my Thai lady agents.

However, internet dating / chat / email scams are on a rapid rise. How common are they? No reliable statistics are known. How do you collect statistics on that? From my observations, however, especially gathering statistics from internet dating sites which try to identify and filter scammers as best they can, I can say it's big business and a huge chunk of the foreigner-oriented assertive Thai lady meat market.

Some are outright scams where the person on the other end of the line is trying to get money from multiple guys without ever truly meeting them.

Others are grey area. They date many men, get multiple income streams from some subset of these men, but maybe they like the guys (or like the "work")... (Admittedly, in my first years here, when I was young and handsome and popular with the Thai ladies, I also "loved" multiple ladies, especially when I was new here and still exploring and learning the basics from experience. There was no scam, and I was getting no money from them, but I could easily love the one I'm with, and if a new acquaintance didn't ask then she may have little idea of the others. So I can understand Thai ladies loving more than one man. But ladies mix love and money ... which can be a dangerous cocktail.)

Another trap can sometimes be the ladies who talk about their hardships, in order to see whether or not the man is generous. If sincere, that's one thing, but if it's professional trickery, that's another. Many guys fall into the trap of trying to "save" a lady from some situation, such as bar girl or whatever. You can't save the world this way, but you can save yourself.

(If you want to save the world, see my website

(However, do not marry my real estate agents and take them outside Thailand! Lost some already, all that training, experience, and knowledge gone. They are very mainstream and proper, and like family with me... Besides, why not have a home in Thailand?)

Overview of Thai ladies and girlfriends

Mainstream Thai lady friends and girlfriends

Short time prostitutes      Longer time bargirl and freelancer girlfriends

Short time hotels      Journals      Moral issues

Good guys trying to help usually get burned

What makes a quality relationship      Getting a travel visa for her

Discreet private investigators

 Thailand Guru analysis

 > Thai Girlfriends

Additional, children pages of this current parent page:

Thai Girlfriends :
  Overview of Thai Girlfriends
  Mainstream Thai Girlfriends
  Prostitutes, Bargirls and Shorttime
  Prostitutes, Freelance and Girlfriends
  Moral Issues of Prostitution
  Shorttime hotels
  Good Guys Trying to Help
  Quality Relationships
  Visa for TGF
  Mating 101 (Guru Guide)
  Marriage and Divorce

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